Hilton Clothing Released

Police and city workers were called in to handle the crowd and a lane of traffic was closed as Paris Hilton unveiled her clothing line Thursday at a trendy boutique.

The heiress, author, singer, perfume designer and reality-TV star unveiled the line at Kitson, a boutique known for its celebrity clientele. The lane was closed for pedestrians' safety, a city spokesman said.

Clad in a gold sequin mini-dress, Hilton, 26, emerged from a black SUV to a throng of fans who spilled into the street. Inside the store, Hilton was all smiles.

"It's a dream come true to have my own clothing line," she said. "It's just Paris style: fun, bright and flashy."

The collection, which Hilton described as "really comfortable" and "really affordable," includes shoes, T-shirts and jeans. Hilton said she spent a year submitting and approving designs.

"It's just from my closet to their closets," she said. Additional pieces will be released next month, she said.

The heiress also discussed other newsy matters in her life: her pregnant pal, Nicole Richie ("She's going to be a great mom," Hilton said), and the pending sale of her Hollywood Hills home.

"I'm going to miss my house because I love it. I really designed it to be my perfect taste," she said. "But too many people know where I live and I'd rather be in a gated community."

Paris Hilton at a Book Store?????

You gotta hand it to Paris Hilton - the girl knows how to create an image. Be it good or bad, she's very much in control of how she looks when in front of the cameras. The former socialite/future humanitarian checked out some architecture books in Malibu this weekend... ooh, does this mean she has more interests than just shopping? Does she want to be an architect?? Do we care?! Anyway, she was basically on her phone the whole time so she probably wasn't paying too much attention. Maybe she thought they were Dr. Seuss books! I jest, I jest.

Paris Crushes Fans

Two giddy (and, frankly, too grown) female fans approached the front gate of Paris Hilton's Malibu home yesterday hoping to torment meet the hotel heiress. Even stalkers are hotter at the beach!

Bordering
on harassment -- but settling on just plain annoying -- the duo
proceeded to buzz the intercom repeatedly to ask for Paris. The cunning
Miss Hilton tried to disguise her voice as a maid -- with a
faux-Spanish accent to boot, like fellow celebuwreck Britney Spears did at a drive-thru yesterday! Que pasa locas!

The
plan nearly went off without a hitch -- until one of the fans saw Paris
through the gate! Foiled again! Guess this star wasn't blind to these
fans!

Paris Hilton Media Blackout

Paris Hilton is angry about her recent media blackout. Since shortly after her
release from prison, several international news agencies have refused to carry
stories about the socialite for at least one month.

From a club in Las
Vegas, Hilton offered the following statement: "I have the wind blow my dress up
and show everyone my pink panties, and no one sees or hears about it. Everyone
in the country saw Britney's and that American Idol girl's panties."

"I
bend over and my breast falls out of my top and no snaps a picture. Claire Danes
does it, and she becomes front page news (even when her new movie bombs at the
box office)."

"I try acting stupid like Jessica Simpson and say that a
trollop is a small scoop of whipped cream and a skank is a male skunk, and
everyone ignores me."

"I've tried getting out of limos without my
panties. I've tried barbequing my dog Tinkerbell. I've driven the wrong way on
one way streets. I've spit on cops and gotten busted for DWI all over again. I
even threw another temper tantrum outside of a court house and no one
cares!"

"What do I have to do to be a media darling again? Why are you
people just ignoring me and treating me like an average, ordinary, white trash
skank?"

A.P. U.P.I. Reuters, CNN, ESPN, USA Today, ABC, NBC, CBS,
Foxnews, the BBC, the CBC, and Telemundo all declined comment and refused to run
her diatribe.

Now, since you had to really search to find this Paris
Hilton story, are you proud of yourself?

Paris Won't Comment

Despite best efforts by paparazzi all around the Hollywood area Paris Hilton just won't say anything about her friend Nicole Richie's pregnancy. Perhaps Paris is feeling a bit jealous?

Paris Hilton Launching Fashion Line

So she tortures the world with her singing and now she's launching a fashion line. Hopefully the clothes are at least decent. If you are game to check it out the line launches on August 16th at Kitson in L.A. According to the store anyone who purchases $100 or more in gift vouchers can have the jailbird herself help style them! Talk about seeing orange and stripes! With the heiress only expected to be on site from 1-3p.m. she won't be designing for many. However, here is some of the charity work that is associated with her name, the store is donating a "percentage of the proceeds of the event" to the Children's Hospital. What that percentage is hasn't been released.

Paris Shooting Her Video

Looks like Paris really is serious about torturing the world with her next album, the former jailbird was spotted shooting her video at LaChappelle Studios and then decided she had worked enough and jetted off on a small vacay yet again. Hopefully she keeps her legs closed this time, the world can't stand to see any more of her.

Please Say It's a LIE!

Paris Hilton who already hurt people's ears with her first album has headed back into the studio to harm people yet AGAIN! She disappeared into the studio just this morning with her newest dog, of course Tinkerbell is nowhere to be seen and is apparently working on a second album. Apparently enough damage wasn't inflected the first time.

Wasn't Paris supposed to be doing charity work? Wouldn't canceling her second awful album be considered charity work?

Paris Boy Hopping

We all know that there are two Hilton sisters, however typically it is the younger sister that is a troublemaker in a family. Not so in the Hilton household and little Nikki lives in her sisters huge size 11 shoe shadow. To help keep her in the spotlight it is a must to be seen making out with as many guys as possible. This even included the strange looking Cisco Adler former boyfriend of Mischa Barton. Not sure what either girl was thinking about this guy, but I doubt they were sober at the time.

After being caught making out and giving him a lap dance in the club Paris was off to the next club. Wonder who the poor guy was there? Has anyone checked to make sure STD's can't be transmitted by kissing and lap dances?

Another Celebrity Dog

Looks like Paris Hilton simply couldn't stand that Britney Spears went out and bought a dog. So now Paris ran to Pet of Bel Air and purchased yet another dog herself. This time she has purchased a little chihuahua puppy to add to the collection of dogs she already has including 2 other chihuahuas and even a yorkie puppy. Still waiting to find out what happened to Tinkerbell who hasn't been seen or heard from in weeks at least.

Do these celebs not know how to have their assistant track down a reputable breeder? Must they continue to purchase from pet stores who get their supply of puppies from puppy mills???? Someone please explain to the girls they don't need another dog.

Paris and Posh Friends Forever

Ok well maybe not, that would mean that Posh would really have to lower her standards. The other day Posh was overheard saying some not so nice things about poor lil Paris. This whole situation was stirred up because Paris told a British publication that she thought she and Posh could be great friends. HAhahahah someone forgot to tell Posh the good news because she has told a friend "Over my dead body! We couldn't be more different. You won't catch me falling out of nightclubs with no knickers on."

Sounds like the newest Hollywood blond at least has the intelligence to leave the house fully dressed. We can greatly appreciate her style and class, hopefully the celebusluts do not influence her to act badly.

Paris Votes?

Please say that the fate of the "Free World" does not rest on the beautifully manicured hands of the most famous jailbird in the country! Say it's not so!!!! Paris Hilton is claiming that she votes in every election and even magically voted in the Presidential election last year. Guess someone was smart enough not to tell her when the real election is so she can't screw it up for the rest of the country. Now let's hope her phone doesn't get any messages letting her know when election day really is, she might actually show up which could be a catastrophe!

Mommy Paris?!?

According to sources that spoke to Closer a British magazine Paris Hilton is looking forward to starting a family of her own. Oh the horrors! It has been rumored that if Paris doesn't find Mr. Right immediately that she is considering adoptiong! This is a nightmare in progress if this really does happen, people like Paris certainly do not need to ruin the world with their children.

While the brood of adopted children works really well for people like Angelina, there is no reason why someone like Paris should screw up the poor needy children of the world. Hopefully the adoption agencies are busy with Angelina and Brad and do not have time for Paris.

Paris Ego Filled Interview

We all know that Paris Hilton is so full of herself it's not even funny but not the ego trip queen is telling The Sunday Times a British newspaper "There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blond - like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana - and right now, ...I'm that icon."

OMG someone knock some sense into her. Someone as famous as Marilyn Monroe, nor as respected as Princess Diana should ever be compared to the celebtrash that Paris Hilton is. That's such a major crime of unlimited proportions. I don't recall ever seeing Princess Diana serving time in jail...guess I missed that breaking news story.

Party Crasher

Since Paris has moved to the beach right next door to Lindsay Lohan it's only normal for her to pop over and say hi during Lindsay's party. Seems the friends who live to be enemies have ended up right next door to each other on the sandy beach. Eeeks the horror! With Lindsay out for the holiday from Promises the rehab and Paris out from the pokey, Paris popped over to Lindsay's porch to make a short appearance before heading back to her own party.

Say It's Not So!!!!!!!!

OMG turn her lose from jail and the kids are following her around yet again. Our favorite jailbird to make fun of Paris Hilton has been nominated for two, count 'em two Teen Choice Awards. Umm yea she's not an idol to kids or anything. Parents around the world are cringing that a DUI criminal is nominated.

Her nominations include Best Female Reality/Variety Star for the TV show The Simple Life, this obviously means way too many children are allowed near the television. It is our sincere hopes that someone else wins and is able to shove the jailbird socialite to the bottom of the food chain.

Don't Drink and Drive

DUI Queen herself Paris Hilton actually has the nerve to post a message on her MySpace blog telling people not to drink and drive? Seems a bit strange and perhaps Paris should take her own advice before dispensing it to others. Too bad there isn't a law against stupid blonds being allowed to make public service announcements.

However, it's been a while post pokey and I still see no action on all of the good deeds she claimed she was going to do. No charity work here, guess Hawaii was much too important. Can't make a party girl go an entire month without a vacation.

Party time for Paris is upon us, with broken promises, and calls to the paparazzi the old Paris has returned.

Paris School Girl Image?

So whoever didn't see her interview with Larry King has probably seen clips of the experience both on the news, and across the internet. We all saw that innocent image she was trying to spew, but has the rich party girl really changed? Sources say that no she hasn't, while she did go solo to Hawaii, she was still partying her ass of there in typical Paris style at the Hyatt club. This is aside from the several guys she was seen throwing herself at.

Interestingly enough, according to some of the paps who follow Paris, the socialite actually calls them to tell them where she's going, and when she'll be there! So much for wanting less media attention and the paps to leave her alone.

Hilton Buyout

Where is a girl going to stay when they go jetsetting after the hotel chain is sold? Questions arise after an $18.5 billion dollar deal has gone down that will sell Hilton Hotels in the 4th quarter of this year. Estimates claim that the deal is worth approximately $26 billion after all of the debt is included, but until the shareholder approval comes the deal is not finalized.

With The Blackstone Group LP purchasing the hotel giant they are making a huge investment in the Hilton name. Guess that reduces the number of places the celeb will be staying for free.

Scooter Libby vs Paris Hilton

In the world of unfair justice Paris Hilton was forced to serve a horrible 23 days for a traffic violation added to a probation violation. Great news for the judge that enforced that, while Scooter Libby the asshole that gave private information about a CIA agent's identity is allowed to walk free because President "Dumbass" Bush thinks his sentence is too harsh?

I was never aware that when foolish people elected Bush to office, he was given the job of jury. Seems that since Scooter Libby was convicted fairly he should have appealed his case like everyone else. Not sure Paris would have gotten her sentence commuted if she had plead to President Bush, after all even the Gov of California refused to touch it.

Oh well, seems if Paris had to do her time so should Scooter Libby. Guess Paris should have given Bush some special attention before she went to the pokey and she might have gotten her sentence commuted as well. Note to Nicole, a little sucky sucky could avoid your pokey stay if you learn from Scooter.